Navigating the in-between of endings + beginnings -- My daughter came home a few weeks ago and said the end of the school year feels like a ground rush. Curious to hear more, I leaned in for the rest of the story. “My teacher said that when someone is skydiving, the ground feels far away. Then, all of a sudden, it’s very close. That’s how we might be feeling about the end of 5th grade, testing, transitions, and going to middle school. It’s a ground rush.”
I accepted responsibility for my mom more seven years ago when she went blind. Most of our plans for retirement went on hold. The last two years she was in a nursing home waiting, longing for the end. Time accelerated near the end: the last four months, then the last four weeks followed by the last four days and then, her last four hours. She died March 26th. I loved my mom; I’m sad at her passing, but I woke up a week or two ago and realized that the great, suffocating weight I had been carrying (and couldn’t properly describe) was gone. I almost feel like I did in 2015 (except, of course, I’m seven years older). I wonder: where do we go from here?
Your beautiful words are bathing my heart this morning. It’s my birthday and I find myself deep in grief. My 30 year old son graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering a year ago and has been unable to find work despite his high gpa. He struggles with anxiety so has difficulties interviewing. He had a dream to settle with his partner in Denver, they are there, but no work for him yet. My heart aches for the disappointed and anxiety he is experiencing. He’s been through so much, three hospitalizations by the time he was nine, then overcoming addiction as the result of the exposure to the painkillers he had. He wants so much to find something. There are so many souls suffering and I care for them all. Your words help me grieve my pain. Yet God has blessed me with so much and I know things will change, they always do. Thank you for being a partner with me and your following. You give more than you can imagine! ❤️
In late 2020, I left my lawyer job to write a book. The past (almost) three years have been a rollercoaster as I learn about a world entirely unfamiliar to me. Along the way I've made a number of wonderful new friends. I'm three weeks from launch and actually feeling good knowing I've done everything within my own control to make it successful. Good advance reviews have helped!
When I find myself impatient, or stuck in that "in-between" stage, I concentrate on noticing the tiny changes nature provides. Spring in Minnesota gives me lots of opportunities.
Thanks Jenny. I appreciate your articles very much and always find help and comfort in your words. I lost my husband to lung cancer last July, and really am struggling with my complicated grief. Our relationship was far from perfect, but there was love there. Hard for me to come to terms with it. I now live alone, and I am finding it very difficult. Also don’t know if I can stay in our home of nearly 22 years.
Sending you best wishes as you continue your next chapter as you get ready to move from Washington to Oregon.
I lost my oldest daughter 10 years ago at age 29 to addiction. I lost my 31 year old son almost a year ago, also to addiction and mental health issues. The last 10 years have been a struggle trying to keep my boy alive and dealing with the soul crushing death of my girl. I also felt a small amount of relief when my precious son passed. I know that both of my kids are now at peace and not in pain any longer.
I have a living daughter and a sweet grandson and I am putting one foot in front of the other time and time again while cherishing what I have left. Thank you Jenny for giving us a place to honor our loss and hope for something more in this life. ❤️ peace and light to you.
The ground rush is here
I accepted responsibility for my mom more seven years ago when she went blind. Most of our plans for retirement went on hold. The last two years she was in a nursing home waiting, longing for the end. Time accelerated near the end: the last four months, then the last four weeks followed by the last four days and then, her last four hours. She died March 26th. I loved my mom; I’m sad at her passing, but I woke up a week or two ago and realized that the great, suffocating weight I had been carrying (and couldn’t properly describe) was gone. I almost feel like I did in 2015 (except, of course, I’m seven years older). I wonder: where do we go from here?
Your beautiful words are bathing my heart this morning. It’s my birthday and I find myself deep in grief. My 30 year old son graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering a year ago and has been unable to find work despite his high gpa. He struggles with anxiety so has difficulties interviewing. He had a dream to settle with his partner in Denver, they are there, but no work for him yet. My heart aches for the disappointed and anxiety he is experiencing. He’s been through so much, three hospitalizations by the time he was nine, then overcoming addiction as the result of the exposure to the painkillers he had. He wants so much to find something. There are so many souls suffering and I care for them all. Your words help me grieve my pain. Yet God has blessed me with so much and I know things will change, they always do. Thank you for being a partner with me and your following. You give more than you can imagine! ❤️
In late 2020, I left my lawyer job to write a book. The past (almost) three years have been a rollercoaster as I learn about a world entirely unfamiliar to me. Along the way I've made a number of wonderful new friends. I'm three weeks from launch and actually feeling good knowing I've done everything within my own control to make it successful. Good advance reviews have helped!
When I find myself impatient, or stuck in that "in-between" stage, I concentrate on noticing the tiny changes nature provides. Spring in Minnesota gives me lots of opportunities.
Wishing you all the best as you turn your pages!
Thanks Jenny. I appreciate your articles very much and always find help and comfort in your words. I lost my husband to lung cancer last July, and really am struggling with my complicated grief. Our relationship was far from perfect, but there was love there. Hard for me to come to terms with it. I now live alone, and I am finding it very difficult. Also don’t know if I can stay in our home of nearly 22 years.
Sending you best wishes as you continue your next chapter as you get ready to move from Washington to Oregon.
Thanks from Upstate New York!
I lost my oldest daughter 10 years ago at age 29 to addiction. I lost my 31 year old son almost a year ago, also to addiction and mental health issues. The last 10 years have been a struggle trying to keep my boy alive and dealing with the soul crushing death of my girl. I also felt a small amount of relief when my precious son passed. I know that both of my kids are now at peace and not in pain any longer.
I have a living daughter and a sweet grandson and I am putting one foot in front of the other time and time again while cherishing what I have left. Thank you Jenny for giving us a place to honor our loss and hope for something more in this life. ❤️ peace and light to you.