One thing you should know about the autistic experience

Seeing ourselves in the stories of others

Sometimes I sit at my computer thinking about how to describe autism from the inside out. I’ve bumped around inside this framework for over a year, after living inside it for 40 years without knowing it’s name. I hear I’ll be unraveling this for quite awhile. Joy.

When you’re a fish in water, you don’t always know how to describe the water. It’s always been there. Last week, I sat in a folding chair across from Rob Bell. He leaned in and asked with genuine curiosity in his eyes, “How does autism manifest in your being?”

It’s such a weird space to land in — to have people asking me what it’s like to be me — when I spent so many years trying to be like everyone else.

Photo by taylor hernandez on Unsplash

So I do what we do when we’re learning something new. I see myself first in the stories of others. There’s so much about being me that I assumed was true for everyone else too. But the stories of autistic humans on social media cause my deepest knowing to bow down because it’s so true. Which is quickly followed by the uncomfortable realization that this apparently isn’t true for everyone else.

And wow is it a gift to find a few people in life who tell the truth about their story in such a way that I see more of me.

One of my favorite voices to follow is Dr. Kristin Neff at @neurodivergent_insights on Instagram. She’s got a great podcast called “Divergent Conversations.” She recently asked her community, “What’s one thing you wish more people knew about the autistic experience?”

Fellow autistic humans filled the comment thread with a slice of their perspective. I thought I’d offer a bit of their story today. I nodded my head to every single one.

Thank you for leaning in and learning more about autism and how millions of humans move in our world.

Thank you for unraveling stigma you might hold. You never know who you’ll love beautifully because you choose to see someone an entirely new way.

We can each do small and big things to normalize neurodivergence in all its beauty and challenge.

What’s one thing you wish more people knew about the autistic experience?

Friends — it means the world when people are willing to learn about something they don’t understand, especially directly from someone who is actually living it. Thank you for being present here as we keep pulling the threads that each of see woven throughout our lives. Sure, we never know where that thread might lead. But I’m one person in your corner who will keep reminding you it’s so worth it.

Grace,
Jenny

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Almost a year ago, I published a book about grief. Getting messages like this from you all is wild. I wrote this book to survive the first year of heart-wrenching loss. Now as we approach the second anniversary, these messages are even more meaningful. Sending big love to anyone traveling with deep grief these days.

We’re with you.