Goodbye in the toy aisle
A poem on leaving a place you loved
After spending eight years in Washington state, I recently moved to Oregon. We’re settling in, finding new rhythms, and taking it one day at a time. Here’s a poem I wrote on my last morning walk in Washington, trying to express the deep ache of leaving a place I loved while trusting the next thing could be beautiful too.
like a child
drug from the
aisle of toys
kicking and
screaming
i claw onto
these last moments
in a beloved place
terrified they’ll
vanish from sight
this place saved me
i met myself here
how can i leave
then i remember
my mind knows
my full self travels
wherever i go
but my nervous system
doesn’t trust it quite yet
so we listen
believe
soothe
comfort
a body afraid to
leave the toy aisle
afraid to leave safety
unaware she will
find safety in new
beautiful places
a soft smile
enters the chat
as a body relaxes
into truth and unclenches
her grip from what was
so she can welcome
what will be
”What a blessing to find the words for our deep grief at the loss of a loved one. Jenny Smith invites us into an intimate grief journey as she mourns the loss of her beloved brother. Through her we acknowledge the anger, bewilderment, and listlessness that grief sweeps into our lives leaving room for little else. Yet, Jenny helps us find a way back to ourselves, and the deep love that still surrounds us even in our darkest days.” — Rev. Jen Stuart
Beautiful 🤍