I wrote this a year ago when my impending autism diagnosis started to unravel the world I’d so expertly built. Here’s to all the brave humans who courageously ask new questions of their one wild life, willing to see what emerges, even when they’re afraid. Love is holding the other end of every single thread.
Deep bow to you, my friends.
Floodgates
my body aches
with unshed tears
from third grade recess
and seventh period math
high school prom
and college biology
wedding anniversaries
and rocking my child
to sleeptears of overwhelm
masked anxiety
fake smiles
awkward conversations
fear they’d find out
i’m trying so hard
to keep upit’s all in here and
i want to let it out
but i’m scared
to open the
floodgatesdecades of being
what they wanted
me to be
don’t dissolve
overnightwhat if the release
drowns me?what if it
saves me?
Photo by Lode Lagrainge on Unsplash
Jenny, I love this! I had some tears that were just waiting to be released. This poem helped me let them trickle down my checks. Thanks for sharing this with your readers!
I really felt this, writing from the heart and soul, bless you