A Thread Conversation: Erynne DeVore
Learning to be, laughter + peace
Our Thread Conversations continue! A friend of mine for 25 years, Erynne DeVore, joins us today. She’s a writer, nurse, mother, among many other meaningful roles and identities. I love how she shows up to the richness and challenge of daily life. May something of her life meet you as you journey your own story in this season. Enjoy!
Erynne! Welcome to The Thread.
Tell us a little about life in this season. What are three words that describe this season and why? Three words: caretaker, curious, mindful.
I am settling into my role as an RN, embracing having kids nearing or in adolescence (9 and almost 12), and have crossed major healing/personal milestone in therapy and in my personal life. I am learning to just...be. It is disorienting and freeing. I am curious about the future but intentionally trying to live in the present. That is new for this over achieving ADHD enneagram 7 female.
What's something you're curious about lately? Is there a thread you're pulling? I am curious about energy exchanges, what it's like to be open to receiving joy, and embracing pleasure. What am I consuming? Where am I over expending my energy? What feels like an appropriate use of my energy? I am noticing what I am drawn to in people and places and experiences. I bought a membership to our local museum so I can just walk around and appreciate the art of others. I am learning that in my new career that I love, I miss the connection to the local community, social justice work, and using my writing gifts that came with working in ministry. As a result, I am becoming curious about what this might look like for me personally rather than professionally.
In a more concrete way, I have also been writing so much poetry lately and thinking more and more about how to publish a book of poetry related to heartbreak and choosing oneself (again).
What are you learning about you? I have learned that I love big, loud, genuine laughs that other people may deem obnoxious. I am learning that, for me, The Divine is experienced though authenticity, nature, peace, transparency, grief, and pleasure. I am learning that some of my gifts shouldn't be monetized. I am learning that I am more than my roles as a nurse and single mom and that caretakers are worthy of care, too. I am learning that I have spent a lifetime trying to earn love and that true love cannot and should not be earned.
How is your story shifting? How does that feel? I am 37, and I think I spent the first 30 years of my life doing what I thought I was supposed to be doing. Then I spent the next 4-5 years fixing - fixing the mistakes of my 20s, fixing my life after divorce, helping my kids process and heal from that and then covid, going to nursing school, etc. I have spent the past 2-3 years really intentionally healing and unlearning the conditioning that we all grew up with. I am not "healed" by any means (is anyone?); this past year has brought up a lot of old wounds I am working on, but I have felt the shift the last six months to something different. Something to do with embracing life again, letting go of the need to prove myself, fix myself, or "fix" anyone else in my life. I have found the peace in pouring into myself simply for the practice itself rather than with the intention of it making me a better person, mom, nurse, or potential partner. I am recognizing that I do not need to earn peace or happiness.
What brings you home to yourself when life feels uncertain? Hugs from trusted loved ones. Hugging trees (my inner 16 year old - heck, my inner 30 year old - is cringing right now). Yoga. Dance/zumba. Going to sleep early. Writing (and not sharing it online). Leisurely walks in the woods. Drinking water. God, when did I get so boring? I think everything boring makes me feel safe when life feels uncertain.
What's been a gift in this season? A challenge? Gifts - My best friends. My therapist. My daughters. An amazing village making childcare work. More creative collaborations happening. My gym membership. Helpful and smart colleagues.
Challenge - being lonely. It is hard to be a single parent, even (sometimes especially) if you share some custody with their other parent. I am often reminded of my many responsibilities that are mine alone and I struggle with feeling not seen, especially as a woman outside of my roles of mom/writer/nurse. I'd like to share the burden sometimes but mostly I'd love to share the joys of life with someone else.
You can connect with Erynne at @erynnedevore on Instagram or her writing page on Facebook
This is my life.
Between packing up our home in Washington or unpacking it on a trip this week to Oregon, there are boxes everywhere. It’s a beautiful and tender time when we try to contain our entire life in cardboard boxes.
In other news, don’t worry. I’m already bonding with my Oregon trees. ;)
well hello
oregon trees
let’s be friends
you remind me who i am
and i’ll love you
every chance i get
I enjoyed Erynne's words and the thought of loving trees!
I appreciate your sharing your vulnerabilities and possibilities Erynne! Humbling and insightful!