A Thread Conversation: Ama Schroeder

Resiliency + choosing love over fear

A year or two ago, my parents told me on a phone call, “There’s this new friend we’ve made and you would love her. Next time you visit, we’ll have her over for dinner.” They were right. Ama’s journey and mine share similar threads and it’s been wonderful to befriend her in this recent season. I’m delighted to share a glimpse of her insightful mind with you in this new Thread Conversation!

Ama has been a teacher for the past 15 years and more recently has also embarked on a new journey of life coaching. She has a MEd in Mindfulness and enjoys infusing her language, classroom, and life with mindfulness. She can often be seen in or on the ocean, exploring her local community and the world, or among her students who give her life and inspiration. She currently resides in Bend, Oregon. Connect with Ama here.

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“How do you do it?”

The other day a dear friend asked me this question as she was in the midst of heavy emotion. As I inquired about what she was referring to, she continued, “How are you so resilient?” I immediately burst out in a chuckle. Resilient? Me? Surely she’s confusing me with someone else. While I pondered this compliment, and simultaneously wondered why she chose such a profound word to describe me, I found myself curious.

Resilient only seemed reserved and worthy for those who have really overcome some great challenges or tragedies worse than my own. I could think of so many more resilient people in my life, but me? No way. I softly repeated this word aloud while driving or walking for the next few days and my inquisitive nature couldn’t let it go … What does it really mean to be resilient? So, I did what anyone would do. I googled it. 

According to the Google dictionary, a resilient person is able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. I was even more perplexed. It certainly never feels like I “recover quickly” or sometimes I feel I never even fully recover as my own traumas and difficulties have haunted many of my days, woven themselves through the fabric of my life so palpable at times.  

As I paused, letting her words sink deep within me, I responded to my friend that we all just need to lean in more to love and trust. And that is how I do it. I continued on sharing, in most moments you have a choice. You can choose love or fear. 

What if that is resiliency in a nutshell? Choosing over and over again in each heartbreaking moment to choose love? Easier said than done, of course. 

This idea of resilience has been playing constantly in the back of my mind but resiliency, I am learning about myself, is indeed something I have had to intentionally chooseIt’s so easy to look at another in awe of their strength, but so much harder to acknowledge and accept my own. Why is that? Curiosity tugged at me more as I meandered through my life and tried to recall moments of resiliency.

Truth be told, more often than not, moments of fear stand out much more clearly and resiliency and strength seemed far from grasp. I started to feel anger toward resilience as I battled in my mind: “Where were you when…?! And, even in my darkest moments, I recalled, resiliency eventually showed up because I eventually always came to find love and let fear dissipate.

I still struggle to put myself in such an esteemed category as a resilient person but as I persevered through this ongoing thread bouncing about in my mind, I have come to realize that we all are resilient for picking ourselves up day in and day out after all the heartaches and tragedies, no matter how big or small they may be. We are all resilient for simply showing up each day and trying again. You cannot compare resiliency among others, but you can choose to react with resiliency, embodying this kind of spirit.

Leaning into love and trust brings me home. And, the path home to love and trust is a resilient mindset. Responding with resiliency to overcome the challenges that life hurdles at me is an incredibly refreshing gift, one perhaps, I am learning, that I take for granted. Regardless of how slow it feels when I am sitting in the depth of hardship and difficult emotions, I am determined to challenge my self-talk to acknowledge how I do, eventually, respond in the face of challenge. After all, the first step to choosing love and trust is to lean in and love and trust myself.

As I continue to grow, fail, and be a human, I am indebted to this friend for allowing me to pause and shift my story to celebrate my own, unique resilient spirit. I am learning to honor, accept, and befriend such an incredible gift.

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Life Update

Hello, dear readers! Our summer of transition continues. We moved from the Seattle, Washington area to Salem, Oregon in July. The transition back into life as full-time working mom has been bumpy. The last time my husband and I both worked full-time at the same time, our kids were quite young and we had childcare. That is not the case this summer. But we’re winding our way through, one day at a time.

We’re doing the apartment thing this summer while house shopping. To our surprise, we found a lovely home, put in an offer, and it was accepted! So yes, the boxes are coming out again as we prepare to move a couple weeks before school starts.

Hoping this letter finds you well. I’m so grateful for your presence in my life. The Thread continues to be a space of expansiveness, delight, curiosity, and love. So grateful.

Grace,
Jenny